Waiting is the hardest part

Saturday - May 31, 2014

It's only noon, so I don't know what the rest of the day will bring, but this waiting stuff is tortuous.  It's so hard to watch him slip away a little at a time.  It's also so hard struggling with what to do.  Do we let him go when it's clear he's in great discomfort and is suffering?  How do we know when it's the right time?   We took him to the vet this morning for a hydration injection.  Because his kidneys have shut down he's severely dehydrated, and though we've been feeding him a lot of water, it's not enough.  The vet seemed to be pushing for euthanasia, but we're not ready for that yet.  But the time will come when he won't eat or drink and can't get up to relieve himself, and that's when we have to say goodbye to him.  When it's time, I want to have a mobile vet come by so Bento can pass away at home.  I don't want him to leave the world in a place he hates and is afraid of.  I want him to go peacefully in the comfort of his safe place surrounded by his family.

My parents said the vet had told them that Bento can go at any time, but the vet today (a different one) said that death from kidney failure can drag on for weeks.  The one thing I know is that once it's apparent that living is too hard for him, we have to suck it up and make the decision to let him go.  I love him too much to put him through pain and suffering after all the love and joy he's brought us his entire life.

So, yesterday, Friday did not start very promising.  He was tired and lethargic.  In the middle of the night he needed to pee - but we thought he wanted to drink water and we carried him to the water bowl.  Oops.  He couldn't hold it anymore and he peed all over the floor.  Since we have hardwood, it's not a big deal, but we had to keep telling him everything was okay and he didn't do anything wrong.  In the early morning he went to his pee pee pad, but once he peed his legs lost strength and he ended up landing in his little pile of pee on the pad.  His prospects looked pretty bleak and we honestly didn't know if he'd last through the day.   I stayed home from work and spent time with him - we always made sure someone was going to be with him.  We spent the morning in our backyard, where he loves to laze the day away.  We dragged one of his many beds outside and sat with him for an hour or two in the yard.  He pretty much slumbered the day away and lay there most of the time.  The only time he would make a move to get out of his bed was if he needed to pee - once he did one of us (usually my dad) would pick him up and take him to the backyard.  He'd be okay in the backyard - he'd toddle a few steps until he found where he wanted to pee and would do his business.  Once he walked away we'd pick him up and carry him home.  He seemed pretty thirsty, and since he had a hard time moving, we used syringes to give him liquids.  Each syringe holds about 2 tablespoons, so every half hour or so, I'd feed him about a tablespoon of water.  He wanted ice too - so he licked a few cubes of ice.  The problem with the ice was it would leave him cold, so he'd shiver for awhile after he downed 3 ice cubes.

He came to life in the later afternoon after my Uncle Kuantsai came with my Aunt Iju to say goodbye to him. I wish I documented it - but they drove all the way from Irvine to La Verne just to see him.  He was so happy they came, he raised himself up and his little tail wagged like a little machine.  Energy expended, he lay down again and would wag his tail when they'd talk to him or stroke him.  It's moments like that when he seems so normal that it makes it so hard to let go.  When he's sleeping I think to myself, it's okay - it's his time and he's passing of old age.  I try to make my peace with it.  But just when I think I'm okay with it - his little spirit shows up and a glimpse of the Bento of yore pops up and I'm not okay with it at all.  How can I let him go when he still loves?  When he still shows joy and excitement?  That's when I start crying like a moron and can't stop.  I'm trying not to cry in front of him so he doesn't get upset or confused, so I leave the room and run upstairs like a pansy.  But he had a good visit with his Uncle Kuantsai and then napped.  Then cousin Ling and Henry came by and he got excited again.  He gathered himself up to greet them with all the enthusiasm he could muster.

Later on, my Uncle Linus, Aunt Wendy, and my cousins Evan and Owen came over after their piano lessons to say goodbye.  Mr. Bento actually got OUT of his bed to greet them enthusiastically.  We were ASTOUNDED.  He hadn't shown that much energy in days.

He had a few good moments yesterday.  We took him out walking in his stroller again.  He seemed to be a little more alert than he was on Thursday and when a German Shepherd started barking at him while running alongside us on the other side of his fence, Bento raised his head and growled at him.  Of course, this display of temper excited us to no end and we applauded him and praised him like he performed a great feat.  And at dinner, he actually crawled out of his bed and made his way to my mom to ask for food.  He didn't gnawed on a rib bone and ate a piece of rib cartilage.  He also indicated he was hungry before bed, so we used the syringe to feed him some rice, chicken and chicken soup that we blended into a porridge consistency.  He went out and took a poop and even that garnered great applause from us.  He had enough energy to make some little snuffly noises and I cuddled with him for awhile before bed.

Thursday night I opted to sleep in my parents' room.  I honestly don't remember the last time I did that - but I wanted to be close to him.  And we couldn't have him on a bed when he would need to pee all the time.  So we took a memory foam mattress topper and I slept on the floor by the foot of their king sized bed with his bed next to mine.  We had a different idea yesterday - which he thought was the best idea ever.  See, Bento thinks everything that's on the floor belongs to him - every mat, every rug, every bed.  Every time we buy a new rug or re-position a rug or a new mat he gets very excited and like Sheldon Cooper, decides that's his spot.  So what's his favorite thing?  When we bust out a sleeping bag or air bed or anything that means we're sleeping on the floor.  He decides the entire bedroll is his and he'll always frolic over it and roll around in ecstasy.  Now, he can't do that anymore, but once I rolled out the mattress pad I was going to sleep on, there was no way he was staying in his little bed - he arduously climbed out of his bed and made his way to where my blankets were and cuddled up.  And he slept very well the whole night - instead of wandering from bed to bed, he slept most of the night through.   I don't know if he felt safer with all of us (yes, my poor parent subjected their backs to sleeping on the living room floor as well) on the ground with him, but he enjoyed it so much I figure this is what we're going to do from now on.  It meant we had to move our heavy ass solid wood coffee table as well as our ginormous love seat and turn the entire living room portion into one big ass sleeping area like we're camping, but that's okay if it's what makes him happy.  On the rare occasions we'd do this (usually in the middle of summer when it's unbearably hot upstairs and we don't turn on the A/C because we're cheapo Chinese people - though this hasn't happened since we got individual units installed in the upstairs bedrooms for Raymond and I) he was always soooo excited.  He run back and forth and hop on all the blankets and pillows and roll around and stake his claim.  Even as sick as he is now, he still loves when we're all on the floor sleeping with him.  If a slightly sore back is the price to pay to see him to content and rested, then I'd gladly pay it.

Today after our incredibly depressing vet appointment to for his hydrotherapy - which we're going to do now at home with the bag of saline and needles and other horrible contraptions I'm still freaked over - we bought some pastries and decided to have breakfast in the backyard...at 11.  Whatever.  We put the cushions out on our patio chairs, wiped everything down, and had breakfast in the backyard watching our hummingbirds.  We're at such a state right that when when Bento had the wherewithal to get up and wobble over to take a poop we clapped for him like he's a conquering hero coming home from war.  Incredibly moved by the effort he was exerting, my mama urged me to take a photo of him.  So I did.  Of him pooping, because that's how we roll.  Of course, he's used to me sticking a camera in his face at all times, so it probably didn't faze him at all.  He was probably thinking, "bitch is cray cray.  I'm just taking a poop lady."

I just fed him some porridge through a syringe as well as some water - and he's resting in the living room.  He was on the couch for about an hour hanging out with my dad watching baseball - now he's moved to his bed where he's napping because he's so low on energy.  Tonight Uncle Linus' family is coming by again, and perhaps my cousins as well to spend some time with him.  I hope he knows just how well-loved he is by everyone in the family.  My dad, whom I love and adore, is NOT an expressive man.  But I came downstairs this morning to see him laying on the floor next to Bento talking to him while stroking him.  And my dad, admittedly one of the cheapest people I know, will spare no expense to make sure Bento is as comfortable as can be.  I don't know how long my Bento has left, but I just want to make sure that in his waning days, his life is filled with as much love as possible so he leaves us with a full heart.

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. " - Anatole France

Thursday - May 29, 2014

Today is a sad, sad day.  I knew it was coming, but concrete confirmation from the veterinarian still sent me spinning into a state of shock, despair, self-pity, loss, panic and resignation.  There's a term in Chinese that's pronounced "she bu de" - 舍不得,  which I think means unwilling or to begrudge giving someone/thing up.  In this case, I 舍不得 my Bento.  He's about 3 months shy of his 12th birthday, and I'd always heard that small dogs were long lived - so in my mind, I was expecting to have him around at least 14, 15, or if I was lucky, 18 years.  Well into my forties.  Except the vet told us today that for purebred dogs like my Bento, the life expectancy is around 12 years - 13 if they're exceptionally long lived.  So I guess my Bento is passing due to old age, even though technically his kidneys have failed and aren't functional anymore, and his heart isn't so good either.  As of today, the best case scenario is 2 weeks...if he spends the rest of his short life in the hospital on an IV drip.  But he hates, hates, hates, hospitals.  Even lethargic and uncomfortable he was trying to crawl away.  There's no way we're going to let him spend his remaining days in misery in a place he despises and fears with strangers who don't love him.  So we brought him home, and the vigil begins.

So, my question is - do dogs go to heaven?  I don't know, and the Scripture doesn't confirm either way - but I think in my state I'd like to believe that the Lord is coming to take my Bento home and that one day, (hopefully) far in the future, he and I will meet up again.

How do you say goodbye to someone so integral to your life?  Grief is relative.  I know that horrible things happen everyday.  Even as I sit here sobbing over my small dog dying of old age, images of the mass murders in Santa Barbara are all over the media.  A week ago or so there was a crazy guy who straight up stabbed and killed 4 random people on the MRT...for no good reasons.  Other than the fact that he was crazy and just wanted to kill people.  I guess like that crazy guy in Santa Barbara.  So yes, people lost their children in a tragic crime.  Yes, people lose their loved ones every single day.  One of my good friends lost her son about 6 months ago after a 5 year battle with leukemia.  Being that I've been blessed enough that I've never lost a loved one in a tragic manner, the depths of my grief have never been truly tested.  The closest ones I've lost have been my grandparents, and they were dearly beloved and close to my heart.  I lost my maternal grandfather in July of 1995 from liver cancer.  I lost my maternal grandmother a year later in November of 1996 after she fought a long and valiant battle with breast cancer that metastasized to her bones.  This was after a mastectomy years prior.  I lost my paternal grandmother to a heart attack in January of 2007.  She died alone and was found a few days later in our house in Taipei - and while I was sad when I went back for her funeral, it wasn't as traumatic because I didn't anticipate or witness her passing.  These were the only really close family members I've lost.  I lost my paternal grandfather in March of 1998, but he died in Taiwan of a heart attack and we were never very close.  Not by choice, but just because of distance.  He came and visited us for the first time a few months before he passed.  So he spent the holiday season of 1997 with us.  Even though I wasn't very close to him, I'm still glad that I was able to make some memories of him as an adult - all my childhood memories of him were hazy.  So the point is - aside from my grandparents, who are usually expected to pass before us - I've never lost anyone really close to me.  So...grief being relative, the fact that my beloved Bento is now slowly passing on feels like my heart's been ripped out of my chest and stomped on.  Literally, my heart HURTS.  I don't know how to describe it any other way.  And while I'm a pansy and admittedly cry when watching Hallmark commercials, I haven't been able to stop crying in the last 24 hours or so.  At this point I've literally cried a freaking river and my eyes are swollen and they ache. It was about 24 hours ago that I came to the realization that my Bento was really going to leave me - though it wasn't confirmed until this morning.

I spent all of last night going through the thousands of photos I've taken of him through the years.  I watched the random nonsensical videos I took of him doing things like...walking.  Or sleeping.  Or eating.  Or just laying there.  And I sobbed uncontrollably because I'm a loser.  I also spent an hour or so writing a long ass rambling letter to him.  Three pages.  Single spaced.  I was trying to cram as many memories as I could in those pages because I'm terrified that I'm going to forget any of these moments after he's gone.  I'm afraid that I'll forget how it feels to hug him against me, how his little body fits against mine.  How he smells, the little noises he makes, how he'll roll on the floor with his paws in the air playing, and the feel of his fur.  I'm terrified that I'm going to forget all the little details that I've taken for granted the last 11 years.  When I pick him up now, he feels so light, so fragile - and I realize how I took his his little sturdy body for granted for his entire life.  How I never realized how lucky we were that he was so healthy except for a crazy surgery he had right after his 8th birthday.

He deteriorated very quickly.  My dad was saying just two short weeks ago he took him for a 30 minute walk.  Just two short weeks ago he'd still play with me.  Sure, he was lethargic and he was slower, but I knew he was getting old, so I shoved aside the worry.  Just three weeks ago it was Mother's Day - and he sat in his little stroller while we had brunch in our backyard on Saturday (and ate some croissants too) and also participated in my semi-successful paella dinner Sunday night.  Just weeks ago he'd toddle over to greet me when I came home from work and we'd watch basketball together.  Just weeks ago I bathed him in the bathroom sink and after I blow dried him, he ran around showing off how pretty he was.  Because I always told him he was so pretty after a bath and he'd puff up thinking he really was the best looking dog in the world like I said.  Just days ago he'd be excited to go for walks.  And by walks I mean I walked and pushed him in his little stroller.   We picked him up from our cousin Ling's house Monday afternoon after we were at a church retreat over Memorial Day weekend.  He was so excited - running around greeting us and spinning in circles.  Like the old Bento - the Bento who was young and healthy and had energy.  That was the peak.  It was all downhill from there.  He lost his appetite and couldn't be enticed to eat - so we started blending porridge and feeding it to him from syringes I bought online.  I think other people use them for crafts.  Or maybe drugs.  I was using them to push some nutrients into my sick little dog.  Sometimes the food would stay down.  Sometimes he would throw it all back up.  It was hit and miss.  He started dropping weight pretty rapidly around January to February.  I bought him a bunch of nutritious supplements for dogs and he seemed to rally and improve.  He even gained a little weight.  But you really can't stop time.  After we had breathed a sigh of relief thinking he was on the mend, he suddenly lost his appetite and dropped more weight.  A week ago he could be enticed to eat if we fed him something with very strong flavors like hot wings.  This week nothing was appetizing.   Then he started having problems walking - he would suddenly fall over or just lose strength in his legs.  He spent most of the time sleeping in his bed or sprawled out on the floor.  And day by day, I could see, even as in denial as I was, that I was not going to have my Bento as long as I wanted.  Which in a perfect world, would be forever - we would pass together - but in the REAL world, I was hoping for another good 3 years.

earlier this month - May 4th

May 10th, the day before Mother's Day

May 5th - watching basketball

So here we are.  He spent the day very lethargic.  He would lay in his bed, be dissatisfied with it and toddle (often falling) over into another bed.  He has many, many beds.  We took him out to the backyard today to pee and just to lay in the grass because as he's gotten older, he always loved to nap out in the sun in the afternoon.  There were two high points today.  One - when we squeezed his little goose toy - he suddenly came to attention - something he hasn't done in a while and seemed excited about his toy.  Oh, how fondly I remember the days when I'd always be able to distract him with a squeaky toy.  It's been too long since he's actually played with one - weeks probably.  And for his entire life, he's always dragged one of his toys, which we called his friends, with him.  If we were going somewhere in the car, he'd run to his toy basket and select a friend to take with him on our trip and drag his selected friend to the garage.  If he wanted to play, he'd drag one over to us and snuff at us to get our attention.  Sometimes he'd try to drag his toys in the backyard too, but we wouldn't let him.  His favorite the last few years was a little tiny bear we called "Teddy". He was so fond of him that when we lost him, I bought him a new one which he loved just as much.  When we found Teddy months later, he had TWO of them and he was so excited about that.  He's also had his Bunny, his Happy Face, his Mouse, his Seahorse, his Giraffey, his Hippo, and so many others that we ran out of names and started making crap up.  If we were burying him, I'd bury him with his Teddy, but since we're not, I think I'll hold onto the Teddy.  The plan is to cremate him and one day, when my mom passes, she wants him to be buried with her.  Maybe I'll save Teddy for that occasion - one that I hope is FAR, FAR into the future.  So far that I can't even think about it.

The second high point was when cousin Ling, one of his most favorite people in the whole world, came to visit him.  I called her this afternoon to let her know that Bento isn't long for this world and asked if she wanted to come say goodbye.  I can say with complete confidence that other than the four of us - my parents, my brother and I - Ling loves him the best in the world.  And he returns that sentiment entirely.  She's known him since he was a little pup that we brought home in a box.  He's spent his life seeing her all the time, and she's always his designated babysitter when we go out of town for vacations.  So he LOVES her and her husband Henry, who's also always  been good to him.  Despite feeling so poorly, he got up to greet both of them, toddling over and wagging his tail harder than I've seen it go for days.  Perhaps weeks. Like us, Ling broke down crying, not able to fathom how it could be that Bento won't be here anymore when she comes over.

We decided to come to La Verne because this was his very first home - this is where he grew up.  This is his territory. We also have our own yard here so he doesn't have to share with all the other dogs where I live.  And because one of his very favorite things to do is to take a walk, we pushed him out on his stroller today and walked all over the neighborhood to visit his old haunts.  I broke down when we walked out because I was so afraid this would be the last time I'd ever walk with Bento, even pushing his stupid little stroller that causes other people to laugh at me.  But screw 'em - if it makes my dog happy, they can suck it if they think I'm retarded.

I can't think about life after Bento without breaking down.  Hell, I can't look at him now slumbering away in his bed without breaking down.  Every few minutes, even as I'm typing I look over to make sure he's still breathing.  I'm afraid that he'll just pass on alone - we haven't left him alone all day - there's always someone with him.  If I have to run to the bathroom one of my parents is with him - so he has family with him at all times.  Because we don't know when the end is going to be - but we definitely know that we don't want him to leave this world alone.  Preferably with his family surrounding him - but at the very least with at least one person who loves him beyond all reason as he leaves.  So he knows he's loved as he slips away from us.  Because he is.  He is one very well loved dog.  Perhaps there's a little (or big) dog out there who's loved more than we love him, but I sure can't imagine it.  All his life he's been the baby - the one we coo over and play with and cuddle with and cherish.  We constantly tell him he's the best boy in the world, the smartest little dog in the world, and the prettiest dog in the world.  Honestly, he probably thinks he's the master of the universe at this point with all the compliments and praises we've heaped on his little head on a daily basis over the last 11 years.  He has more toys than anyone, more clothes than anyone, and he has about 10 beds between my house and my parents' house.  Our cupboards are filled with bags and bags of rejected snacks (my one lone criticism of him is that he's a picky eater) and his toy basket is filled with numerous toys he's only played with once.  Seriously, I don't think there IS a little dog as loved and cherished and spoiled as him.  I mean, my mom has spent the last 10 years (yes, for the first year or so he ate dog food.  Then he discovered people food his 2nd Thanksgiving and it was all over after that) cooking for him - chicken legs and brown rice. Because he only likes dark meat (picky!) and he likes brown rice, not white rice.  There have been nights when I had cereal for dinner while he was eating chicken and brown rice!

Is this the beginning of the end?  Or did we blow past that point without realizing it at the time?  I'm guessing it's the latter - that his little kidneys really started failing earlier this year and just entirely shut down this week.  But he fought, and he held on - so much so that he made it to Scottsdale in April of this year for our cousin Yang Yang's wedding.  Not that he went to the wedding, but he made the trip and got to see my brother one last time because Raymond flew over as the best man.  If he had just let go in February when I thought I might lose him, Raymond wouldn't have had those last six nights with him.  Every night Bento slept with Raymond, as he usually does when Raymond is home.  So even though I'm devastated, I'm glad that we got to have one last road trip together.  We've taken many trips together in the last 11 years.  Bento was never happier than when he was in the car with his entire family - the people who loved him best and those he loved best - especially in a car because it meant he wasn't being left behind at home.  I can't count all the times we played fetch - though he'd rather play tug when he brought the toy back rather than give it to me.  Or all the times we ran around the backyard together playing chase.  Or just of us being silly together dancing around the house, or when I'd sing him stupid silly songs like that retarded Barney song, or of him just napping nearby because he wanted to be close.  All the times he'd follow me into the bathroom because he didn't like to be left alone and would patiently wait on the bathmat while I showered.  All the times his little head would just cock to the side when he was puzzled by what I was doing or saying.  Or just the way he'd look at me - his round eyes bright and inquisitive, shining with unconditional love and curiosity.  I'm going to miss everything about him.  His spirit, his little paws, the way he smells, his little noises, the way he feels, and just how genuinely happy he always was to just be with us.  I may get another dog in the future - another little furry being to love who will love me unconditionally in return - but I will never have another Bento - the most perfect, brightest, and best little dog in the whole world.

his last Vegas trip in April 2014

at Arches National Park

family photo @ Arches

outside our hotel - getting ready to head to Arches

exploring the great outdoors with Raymond at Arches National Park

Sunrise at Monument Valley.  Probably the very last family photo of the five of us all together.

There's never enough time (sigh)

A few weeks ago my cousin Yang Yang got married (congratulations Yang Yang and Ashley!) and we, as a troop of crazy Chinese people, caravanned our way to the desert like the desert people of yore (I have no idea what that means, I just wanted to say "desert people of yore."  Is there any yore on desert people?  Are there desert people?  Other than those who live on Tatooine?) from Orange County to Phoenix because we like road trips.  Also, because we're cheap and with the five of us, we didn't want to fly.  By we, I mean my dad and my uncle - but I mean cheap in the best possible way.  When my dad discovered that Phoenix was only 5 hours by car, my dreams of a quick 1 hour flight were gone (sob!).  Except uh...it didn't take us one hour.  Taking into account our delayed departure (thus running headlong into rush hour traffic - doh!)...yeah...this was a 7 hour trip.  Many times during our long drive did I wish I had just sucked it up and spent the $200 or so for the plane tickets.  But if we had, we wouldn't have been able to take our awesome-way-too-quick-I'm-still-reeling-from-it road trip!  So in the end, the long ass drive that almost sucked away my will to live was worth it!

so many windmills!  This was about the most scenic thing during the drive.  Or there may have been other things, but I just wanted to get there and kept looking at the odometer.  

So...the drive was long.  Even though we were suppose to depart by 3pm (so I didn't take an extra day off of work), we didn't leave until 4.  Yeah...no bueno.  This did not set a good precedent, but whatever.  Instead of getting to Phoenix at 8 like I was anticipating, we didn't roll into our hotel until 11pm.  I was so tired and my butt so numb from driving for so long I was about to kiss the ground.  But we got there with no problems.  

We booked at the Hyatt House Scottsdale because we're cheap.  The wedding was held at Hyatt Regency at Gainey Ranch, which is a fabulous hotel.  Except it ran for about $450 a night for the weekend we were there.  Yeah...that's no bueno.  I don't have a problem springing $450 a night if it's a fabulous room - but I DO have a problem spending that money when it's for a regular old room that only has 2 double beds.  Not even 2 queens - 2 doubles.  Which means that our family would need two rooms because there's no way the four of us (parents and bro) can fit into one tiny room with two double beds.  What. The. Hell.  So I searched online and lucked into a really nice room @ the Hyatt House 10 minutes away from the Regency for $104 a night.  What a steal!  Seriously.  I managed to get this rate (I think the room generally goes for anywhere from $250-$375 depending on what specials there are) because I just managed to catch some spring fire sale (the rate was gone in a week or so) and I got a 2 bedroom quad suite (FOUR beds bitches!) for $104 a night.  Sweet!  And they only charged us $50 for my Bento for the whole stay.  Yay!  I love hotels that are not doggist!  

right in front of our rooms.  Our block of rooms faced Drinkwater Blvd and there was a gap in the wall that lead to the sidewalk right outside our door.  

living room.  Nice sectional.  It's also a sofa bed, but we never used it as such since we each had a bed.

dining area and kitchen

the larger of the two room with two full sized beds

larger room.  Mirrored closet and bathroom

smaller of the 2 rooms with 2 twin beds

we had our own little TV, though the placement of the desk was awkward

best part of our smaller room was this ginormous walk in closet.  Fit our big ass suitcases just fine.

I actually really liked where we stayed...with one big exception.  The noise.  Oh, the noise.  I had read reviews on Tripadvisor about the noise and to request a quieter section.  I didn't, I just requested a ground floor room since they don't have elevators and I don't want to drag all our crap up 3 flights of stairs.  Crapola.  There's apparently a club close to our block of rooms because there was some thumping going on Saturday night.  I'm a pretty heavy sleeper though, so I just turned the TV onto HGTV and fell asleep to the strains of home improvement and decor shows rather than the thumping beats of some drunken DJ.  Aside from that, the service was very nice and the included breakfast was pretty generous.  The omelet bar was the best part.  I didn't have the waffles (not the make your own kind), they looked a little soft (per my brother, they were), though they had eggs, potatoes and either bacon or sausage.  They had a nice little yogurt bar, a cereal bar, a juice bar, and coffee and milk as well.  It was actually a very nice breakfast for one that came included with the room.  And it's not regulated - you could totally walk in off the street and no one would question you.  Lots of seating too, so we never had to search for a place to set our stuff down.

What we DID notice though...other than our group, it was ALL older white people.  And one black guy.  Then there was us.  And people looked at us.  A lot.  What??  Is it that weird to see an Asian person in Phoenix?  I mean, they've got Panda Express and all, right?

Anyhoo, after we settle in (past 11 pm at this point) my brother texts me that he arrived.  Being tired (and lazy, and my butt was still asleep) I told him to just take a taxi.  So he did.  And he arrived around midnight.  We basically sort of unpacked, showered and went to bed since we had a reservation to tour Old Town Scottsdale on segways the next day.  I lurve the segways.  So does my mama.  We kinda sorta fell in love with them in Paris (sigh).

I went on Tripadvisor to figure out what we were going to do for the three days in Phoenix because hello!  The wedding's only suppose to take like, an evening, right?  Uh...wrong.  Oh, was I wrong.  We NEVER stopped moving.  But months ago, I was ignorant of this, so I booked us a tour with Scottsdale Segway Tours for a 90 minute tour of Old Town Scottsdale.  I figure it'd be fun because we could ride segways and become oriented to Scottsdale.  And yes, it was a lot of fun.  I'd totally do it again.  Raymond seemed a bit freaked out at first, and I don't think he was that excited about it, but he ended up really enjoying himself.

 

Once the segway tour was over, my mom went back to the hotel room while Raymond and I went to to the gigantor mall down the street with our cousins to shop and stuff our faces.  I had Five Guys for the first time. It was good...just not $8/burger good.  But the fries were fantastic.  Mmm...

Then the boys had to skedaddle because they had the wedding rehearsal to go to.  My cousin and I moseyed our way back to our hotel where she napped and I vegged for a bit before we had to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.  Honestly, it wasn't very fancy, but we figured we couldn't go in cut off shorts or sweats, so I threw on a sundress while my mama got a little more dressed up.

Apparently Phoenix is not a bastion of delicious Chinese food, so we ended up at a place called Nee House Chinese Restaurant, which was okay.  Honestly, it was better than expected, although their roast duck had enough salt for the Dead Sea.  Uh...it was pretty clear that our side of the family was a little underwhelming because out of the 10 or so tables booked, we only had two.  And this was just family.  And the wedding party.  

Being that we are Chinese, our aunt and uncle ordered a 10 course banquet.  We ate until we had to be rolled out the door.  After a long hard day (everything is hard for me!  sob!) I went back to the hotel and crashed while my party animal brother managed to make an In N Out trip with a cousin and even bring a treat back for my Bento.  

Mammoth Hot Springs

Wednesday - August 21, 2013

We slept in.  No, we really slept in.  As in, we didn't get up until after 10 am.  I think the exhaustion of the constant traveling finally caught up with us so we lazed around until everyone else in the surrounding cabins had already left for the day (seriously - no cars).  We roll out of bed (and we rolled) and slowly got ready since we were apparently operating on the speed of molasses.  My mama though, started clearing her throat and told us she thought she was starting to get sick since her throat felt funny.  Actually, her throat had been feeling funny for the last few days, but she had attributed it to dryness and/or allergies.  (Man was it dry.  We were lotioning up, but I still had those white chalky marks on my skin.  Blech!).  But my mama getting sick was no bueno :(  It got to be more and more no bueno in the next day or two.

But before we get there - we still had to finish our second full day of Yellowstone!  Seeing as how we were stopped on the road near Roosevelt Junction, I made the executive decision (that was then backed by the rest of the family) NOT to do the full upper loop as we just weren't in the mood to sit in the car waiting for one way traffic for another hour or so.  Instead, we planned to do Mammoth Hot Springs and double back instead of looping around (to avoid road closures) and hit Midway Geyser Basin, which we missed the day before because Raymond had a stomachache and didn't want to stop.  How can you come to Yellowstone and NOT see the Grand Prismatic Spring???!!!  So I told everyone that we were going to hit the Midway Geyser Basin because it's like going to Paris and not seeing the Eiffel Tower (I know, I keep using this analogy).  Well...maybe not like the Eiffel Tower, but more like the Louvre, or maybe Notre Dame Cathedral.  Not the MOST iconic sight, but damn near it.

So we roll...to the car where we continue to slather deet onto ourselves to remain bite free and head northwest towards Mammoth.

The drive was about 45 minutes or so, which passed by pretty quickly because it was a gorgeous drive the whole way up.  See?

When we see a sign for a turn off to the Mammoth Hot Springs, I yell and point and Raymond pulls us into the dinky parking turn off.  We park and head out (including my dad with his hand on all weird - see below) and realize that uh, instead of parking so precipitously when we saw cars pulled over we should have waited a bit and you know - actually parked in the lot?  So Raymond heads back to the car while we wait on the path and he drive us over to the overcrowded lot where we manage to snag a crappy spot in Timbuktu.   

You have to forgive me since it's been awhile (8 months!  sob!) so I can't remember the details (not that I remembered them all that well the week after since there was a WHOLE lot of nature) but Mammoth Hot Springs really was an interesting part of the park.  Even if it was in the boonies.  It's the only place that not only changes from year to year, but month to month.  The terraces only stay white as long as a spring is active, once it becomes inactive, it turns gray.  All the bright orange thingamjigs on the terraces are billions of little bacteria colonies that manage to thrive in the thousand degree water.  And no one can anticipate or control when a spring is active.  A dormant spring can suddenly start trickling again, building new tiers - whereas a spring that's always been active and dependable can just suddently...stop.  Such was the case of the Minerva Spring.  It's actually depicted on the cover of the Yellowstone guide they give you when you enter the park.  Except it's no longer active.  So when you point to the guide and ask a park ranger where you go to see that - they point you towards a not so beautiful hulk of grayish/black rock.  

We managed to catch a ranger talk by the Mammoth Hot Springs which was fascinating and fun...well, for me.  The rest of my family wandered off.  The Hot Springs area is HUGE - they have boardwalks all over and you can climb down from where we originally parked.  Except that meant we would have to climb back up.  So we opted to do it the lazy way - we explored about halfway down - then went up and drove down to the Fort Yellowstone area (lots of restaurants and little shops) and explored the lower portion.  While my family wandered off, the ranger told us stories about moose and bears and appropriate footwear (uh, not sandals apparently.  I felt a little embarrassed to be rocking my Birkenstocks) and the growth of the springs.  Apparently the boardwalks are under construction all the time to accommodate in the growth of the springs - so they're raised and lowered all the time.  Craziness!

After popping into one of their little shops and filling up on sandwiches, chips, cookies and other goodness to eat while we drive, we headed towards the Midway Geyser Basin, which we had a massive brain fart the day before and missed out on.  Why?  Because dude, you CANNOT go to Yellowstone without seeing the Grand Prismatic Spring.  That's like going to Paris without seeing the Eiffel Tower.  Which would make you a retard.  So we backtracked to where we went the day before to take in one of the park's iconic sights.  

The big star of the Midway Geyser Basin is of course, the Grand Prismatic Spring.  The supporting star (the Leonard to Sheldon Cooper, the Spock to Capt. Kirk - important, but just a hair less so) would be the Excelsior Geyser Crater - also huge, also blue, and also pretty impressive.  Poor Excelsior.  If only it had been located in a different geyser basin, he'd have his own attraction instead of having to share and be overlooked.

For the sad ignoramuses out there - what does the Grand Prismatic Spring look like?  What is it?  I guarantee you've seen photos of it.  It looks like this:

Unfortunately, that's not what you see.  That would be the aerial view.  When you're actually walking around it (on the boardwalk) this is what you see:

see the little people on the boardwalk?  That's where you're seeing the spring from.

Is it impressive?  Very much so.  It's huge.  But you really don't get the full effect up close because you can only see so little of it from each vantage point.  You walk all around it on the boardwalk, and while the scenery in front of you changes color and textures - you can't truly grasp the full effect unless you're higher up and can see the whole thing.  There is a hiking trail that will take you there - but as we are lazy non-hikers, we settled for a picture of the aerial view instead.

Of course there are other assorted pools and springs - but they're kind of dwarfed by the GPS even though they're very pretty themselves.

How did we end the night?  I honestly don't remember all the details.  But as we were heading out to the Grand Tetons the next day, there was probably packing going on.  After the Midway Geyser Basin, we drove back, passing by the Old Faithful area - which was great because we had 3G access there and all got our emails and texts chiming in the few minutes we were driving through.  Then we headed back to no man's land of the Lake Lodge and chilled out for the rest of the day.