Saturday, June 11, 2011

Disneyland for rich people (or why I don't care they're a bunch of blood suckers because I love Mickey Mouse)

I've had an annual pass to Disneyland for the past 10 years...maybe more.  I'm going a little senile so I can't be sure, but I know it's at least around the decade mark (don't you judge me).  And being the fancy person I am, I always buy the premium pass, because I'm expensive, and I just like the idea that I can go on any day I feel like (though I don't).  But in all the years I've gone, there was one thing I've never done: the Fantasmic Premium Viewing (see the caps?  'cause it's fancy).  That is, until now.  I took my BFF Johanna (also a Disney nerd with her own AP) to celebrate her birthday, and we lived it up like the old lady party animals we are...we ate A LOT of dessert.  Mmm...dessert.  But first, dinner!


I got lucky and managed to snag a 6:10 reservation to Blue Bayou.  On a Friday night (and uh, I called the day before, 'cause I'm not so good at the planning thing).  There was much rejoicing - I thanked the poor hapless reservations agent/man/genius/miracle worker/messenger of God like he saved me from a fate worse than death, which I suppose he did.  I mean, have you ever had to jostle for bench space with a family of 6 from Kansas (no offense Kansas, you're awesome, though I've never visited you - but I love Dorothy and Toto!) while trying to balance a little paper tray for your corn dog, ketchup and mustard as well as a $5 cup of soda on your knees and trying to save your feet from runaway strollers piloted by parents who drive WORSE than the Asian women drivers of Westminster, CA?  (Being Asian, I can hate on my own peeps).  Anyway, we got there a few minutes early, and unlike the last time we went when we waited for at least a half hour even with reservations, we got a table in about 10 minutes.  Yay!  Would you like to see the menu?  (too bad, you're going to anyway)


The food...it's tasty and delicious.  Now, I wouldn't describe it as sublime (that description is reserved for Mitsui in Taipei, a restaurant I can only enjoy on someone else's dime - sob!) - but I really enjoyed everything. The rolls were warm and crusty, the soft inside perfectly chewy, with that really good bite that good bread has (I'm looking at you, Weber bread) along with 4 little balls of butter.  Room temperature butter.  I lurve butter, particularly butter that's soft and spreadable.  There's nothing worse when you're starving and have been fantasizing about food all day than to get a cold ass brick of butter that not only can you not spread, but rips your bread apart.  Bastards.  But I digress.  The bread:


And because we were in New Orleans square, we honored their cultural mores and ordered their official drink, Disney-ized: the mint julep!  I love that they don't cheap out on the maraschino cherries - so many places do.   I don't know why I get so excited by maraschino cherries - they're like, dipped in a vat of chemicals that turn them into a color not found in nature.  But I do love me some chemically goodness.  


For our main courses we chose cow.  Delicious, delicious cow - otherwise known as filet mignon.  I got mine with crab cakes, Johanna got hers with lobster.  We were both deliriously happy with our choices.  If you've ever been to one of those Asian buffets with "lobster", where it's rubbery and hard and tastes like nasty socks...this is not one of those.  It was perfectly cooked - tender, sweet, with that crisp bite that indicates freshness, and came with its own vat of butter for dunking:


The crab crab cakes I got were really good too - moist and flavorful, you can actually taste the crab, as oppose to el cheapo crap cakes where it's mostly breading.


And the potatoes.  Oh, the potatoes.  I could write odes to those potatoes (but fortunately for you, I will not).  Cheesy and wonderful and delicious (I've been using that word way too many times - but how can you not when it's true?).   

The steaks were cooked nicely, with a char on the outside and buttery on the inside.  I like mine very pink inside, and it was done exactly the way I like it.  The only thing that would've made it better was if they had broiled it with bacon - the smokiness would've gone well with the Bearnaise sauce.  But everything tastes better with bacon.  Even chocolate!  Now this is a meal for old women like us who are secure in our masculinity.  Or femininity.  Or whatever.  But we are definitely not one of those salad eaters (you know who you are) who pick at rabbit food and coo "oh, but I'm soooo full.  That sip of water I just had just filled me right up!"  Barf. 

Anyway, we got a free chocolate pudding dessert (score!) that had green sprinkles on it because Johanna was wearing a birthday button.  It wasn't really her birthday, but since we were celebrating it (albeit a week late), we weren't really lying.  


After our ginormous pants tightening dinner, we decided to head over to Tomorrowland to ride the revamped version of Star Tours.  And it was awesome.  The line wasn't bad for a Friday night, just 75 minutes, which flew by pretty quickly when Johanna busted out her magic iPhone and we scoured YouTube to pass the time.  (we educated ourselves by watching 3-Way, Subtle Sexuality, Single Ladies, and talking puppets.  Somehow that sounds so dirty, but it wasn't!)  I like Star Wars, but I can tell you I never have, and never will, dress up like one of the characters to watch the movies or to commune with the like-minded in a convention setting, 'cause having cinnamon rolls glued to my ears isn't how I like to pass the time.  But they totally revamped the interior - the big ass TV next to the Starspeeder 1000 has all new ads, plus a "space port live cam" thingy where it's pretending to look outside.  There were new robots and new effects - I was pretty blown away.  And the ride itself was SOOOO super awesome!  (I sound like a total fan girl).  But when we sat down, this weird super geeky guy looked at me and asked if I'd been on it yet.  When I told him I hadn't, he said "it's so awesome."  And he was right.  A mini tour:

The new sign outside

New improved screen with much better graphics

I guess we don't get to go to Endor anymore?

hey!  that's not Chinese

the live cam (look ma!  we're in space)

R2's newly painted ride

the new minions

it's like, the check-in robot.  the reddish thingy on the screen is us!

'cause Captain EO has 'em

cool, 21st century glasses (I didn't feel too dorky in them)

new videos while you're waiting to board (you can see C3PO in the pilot's seat)


  

look at the little Ewok toy!

the new "do not use flash photography" warning

the new host.  I guess robots are in and humans are out

yay!  And that's it.  Because I didn't wanna get kicked off the ride

It was about 9:30 when we got off the ride.  And because we are lazy old ladies, we opted to ride the train to N.O Square rather than wade through all the stinky tourists with the scary baby strollers.  And I got this picture when we were at Main Street Station:


It's the Mickey head upside down!  I don't know why it excited me so much, but it did.  Think of how many people's vacation photos we'll be in now!  Anyhoo (why anyhoo?  I dunno, it makes me sound like I grew up on a farm), we got to N.O Square and found our seats, which we picked out earlier when we waited 30 minutes in line to check in.


And these were our seats:


Not too shabby, eh?  

at night

my feet

Johanna's foot

Now, aside from the rockin' seats (we get chairs!), and the fact that we don't have to stake out for hours beforehand (which we've done before, when we were much younger and didn't have back pains from oh, living) while viciously fighting to maintain our territory while evil smelly tourists with killer strollers keep encroaching onto our blanket (teeth were bared) - we get dessert!  A BOX of goodies.  Yummo!

the box that's passed out

and the drink...you can have whatever you want.  I opted for hot chocolate.  
Johanna sucked down a diet coke and stashed a bottled water in her backpack.  

cheese.  mmm...and cheesecake...and chocolate (wiping away drool)

the set up, after moving the grapes aside like the server lady said

cheddar and jack.  mmmm...

I lurve mini babybel cheese!

the dessert stash: lemon tart, cheesecake, coconut macaroon, fudge cake/brownie thingy

my favorite one: raspberry filled sugar cookie with chocolate coating

see how pretty it is!  there are little stars on it!

and it's purple!  I didn't realize until I turned on the flash 

raspberry jam on the inside.  mm...

The view was pretty spectacular.  We lined up early enough that
 we got a front row seat.  Which is good since we're both short, 
and looking around some tall person's head would not be awesome

Mickey fighting evil by shooting sparks from his fingers!

Captain Hook and Peter Pan coming 'round the bend

the evil queen and her evil green pot

Murphy severely pissed off.  Probably my favorite shot of the night

The Mark Twain all dressed up for the finale

it's not too shabby a night when you've got Tweedledee and 
Tweedledum, the Mad Hatter, the White Rabbit, Aladdin & 
Princess Jasmine, Princess Tiana, Sleeping Beauty & Prince Phillip, 
Goofy, Pluto, Minnie, Donald, and Chip & Dale waving at you.  

and my favorites!  But where's Bulleseye??

ooh...purty

the parting shot.  I lurve Mickey

Our seats.  One last look (sob!)

Do I think it was worth it?  Hell yeah.  Granted, it ain't cheap ($60/pp) - but for a special treat (and if you can swing it), I think it's worth the money.  You don't have to sit on the cold hard ground that thousands of people have walked upon and spit and vomited on that day.  You don't have to fight for territory with crazy stroller derby moms, tourists who pretend they don't speak English when you tell them to get off your blanket, and you don't have to sit for hours trying to guard what little territory you have.  And come on, who doesn't like feeling like a VIP?  For the non-old ladies out there, who go to things like clubs and other dens of iniquity - it's like bypassing the lines of underage-fake-ID-possessing half naked drunk girls with drag queen makeup smeared on their faces who blow kisses at the bouncer trying to get in.  It just feels good.  Even if the competition you're gloating over is a 3 year old who has pudding smeared on his face and who's wearing a diaper filled with poo.  

They do give you too much food, but I'm not complaining. I stuck the box in my backpack and toted it home.  I finished it off the next day for breakfast and a snack.  The lemon tart was perfectly balanced - the shell wasn't soggy, even after spending the night in the fridge - the filling was tart, but not so tart you make the ugly face eating it.  The cheesecake was the standard NY cheesecake with the rich creamy filling and the chocolate torte was rich, but because they used dark chocolate, it wasn't so sweet that you felt guilty eating it because you can feel it rotting your teeth. The aftermath:


The poor lemon tart got smushed by the cheesecake, whose Mickey head got squashed.



But I still ate it.  And it was still tasty.  Although now I feel the need to buy some grapes to go with the cheese.  I feel so fancy saying that.  But I have to admit that I'm not that classy - I was on an airplane when I saw the stewardess (or do we call them flight attendants now?) passing these plates of fruit and cheese out and I watched the fancy looking guy across the aisle pairing them.  I was feeling inferior in business class (yay for upgrades!) because they were all wearing suits while I was wearing my jeans and flip flops, so I asked for the same thing trying to pretend I wasn't a ratty poor interloper.  It didn't work, but I discovered a delicious combo!  Those rich bastards do know something after all!